| “…sex, drugs, and rock & roll.”
After touring Europe with The Rolling Stones, fans were wild about The Adult Film Stars. One woman was spotted getting "AFS is The Fucking Awesomest Band EVER” along with the Two Thumbs Up (ala Siskel And Ebert) tattooed on each of her delightfully perky breasts. And since he was a huge fan, Grateful Dead Legend Jerry Garcia invited AFS over for countless recording sessions in his home studio. It is believed that the 40+ now lost classics have been stolen by Michael Jackson, and are hidden in the Neverland Ranch. With followings in Rome, Babylon, The former Soviet Union and Gomorrah (they were banned in Sodom) Adult Film Stars mania is clearly spreading.
Adult Film Star Brand X (Real Name: Danny Zuko) has been elevated to cult-like status after his torrid love affair with Dana Scully from the X- files. And everyone knows about his brainchild, the trashy website ratemycameltoe.com, which gets about 5 million hits a week and is nominated for a Masters And Johnsons Award for the 5th year in a row. Adult Film Star Boocho Mcfly (Real Name” Bukkie Nekkid) takes time out of his hectic smoking schedule to teach women how to have G-spot orgasms. “ …I’m just tryna give back to the community. Can you dig it? Ha ha” Millions have, as these two trendsetters have influenced countless acts, from the Beach Boys to Seal and even the beloved Jerry Springer. This influence is often times attributed to their ultrasmooth attitude towards women, music and life. (Also known as sex, drugs, and rock and roll)
“When I first heard Party Hats I knew I wanted to do music.”- Party girl Tara Reid
“Anytime I hear Wanna Get High I expose myself. That song gets me hot!”- Star Jones, (professional fat lady)
“I listen to Gigolo when I need pointers with the ladies” Lil Bert, (T.V. midget)
With all this praise, haterism cannot be far away. “When evil noise is passed off as music and fed to own children, we know these are the last days.” responded a clearly determined Dr. Bill Cosby, when asked about his involvement in the burning of Adult Film Stars valuable collectable items and memorabilia. “If you listen to any AFS song such as Oh Face, Two Thumbs Up, or Dick And Dope, you are going to Hell!!” said our leader George W. in his state of the union address regarding AFS. But not all feel this way about Adult Film Stars. When Brand X made a special appearance on the Oprah Winfrey Show, the famed host was so aroused by his cock ring enhanced erectus that she gave everyone in the studio audience a pound of her Sweetest Cheeba. And former President Bill Clinton has been a regular guest on previous AFS albums, providing commentary, playing the sax, and smoking out with the crew. Even former Fluff Girl turned baby momma (to Mcfly) Pam Grier has shown support despite his cheating on her with the cast of Girls Next Door. It seems easier to love the Adult Film Stars than hate. You should too. It’s just the right thing to do.
-C.D. Tucker, Author of “I Love Adult Film Stars
Because Of Their Huge Man Members”
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