I wrote this for You...
I don't know how to say this but I'll try.
I am giving You a piece of me, and not just any piece... but the most sacred.
This is the place I go to when I'm scared, when I'm lost, when the pain hurts more than I can take. This is a place I used to visit but now, it has almost consumed me. I'm afraid... afraid that if I don't give it to You - afraid that if I don't say something, it will solidify my inner being into a dead stone black as cancer.
I want to be pure again, but I am too far gone to do it alone.
I hate to ask, but I really need your help -
I am damaged
I am an addict
I am a sinner
I am a derelict
I am ruined
I am an alcoholic looking for one last drink, and that, my friend, is You.
You - my one hope, the only choice. I am not sorry if You are not ready for this, I cannot apologize. I tried to wait 'til the pain had passed... but it has been too much to bear and my clock has run out. Please don't think of this as a burden but as the last give I could give anyone, ever.
I want You to have it.
I wish we could have done this over the comforting conversation coffee brings... a hand shake... a smile... perhaps even a kiss, biting, and licking your lips... looking into your eyes...
I wish I could see your face, I wish I could hold You 'til your skin devoured us both, but I am no child and the time for wishes has long passed.
I know we will meet soon, and I can't wait to rest your face in between my hands, hold your heart up in my eyes, I can't wait to love You. The feeling is so fucking overwhelming that I have to go now, but just remember; this is yours now...
...do with it what You will. |
|