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| Alexisonfire was the brain child of Helcama von shnowsitz, a reclusive Norwegian doctor. Dr. Helcama had advance knowledge of cloning and test tube human production.
One day he grew weary of the constant pressures of the outside world so he drew up plans to make a lethal |
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 | Watch Out!4.7
Released: 2004 |
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Alexisonfire was the brain child of Helcama von shnowsitz, a reclusive Norwegian doctor. Dr. Helcama had advance knowledge of cloning and test tube human production.
One day he grew weary of the constant pressures of the outside world so he drew up plans to make a lethal hit squad of 5 Catholic school girls who would bring down the capitalist regime that had crushed his will to live. But unfortunately during the cloning process he spilled a vile of what is known in the scientific world as AGENT X606.(two parts lysol, one part jack Daniels) into the cloning tanks. This had a drastic effect on his children of destruction. what he thought to be girls were turning into boys. mildly unattractive boys.
The first of the lethal creations to gain consciousness was one that was given the name "Dallas", after the successful mid 80's soap opera, a favorite of Dr. Helcamas. Dallas was a mild mannered young man who displayed great skills with the guitar and had a lovely singing voice. The next to emerge was a husky foul mouthed, sarcastic, but highly intelligent young man who was named wade. he instantly took to the guitar as well but he played a much scarier brand of music and instantly corrupted Dallas.
The next to come was named Jesse. Jesse was destructive and broke everything around him so Dr Helcama placed him behind a set of drums which he instantly fell in love with. Jesse also had the super power of consuming great quantities of sandwiches and granola bars and never ever gaining weight. A child named George was the next to awaken. George was resentful of the Doctor and refused to play any instruments, instead George took to screaming and yelling. The last child was young Chris. Chris may have been insane.but he also may have been brilliant. Chris played the bass and he seemed to be able to function with out any sleep what so ever.
After Dr. Helcama was finished his studies of the boys he thought it would be too risky to unleash them upon the world so he loaded his gun and decided to destroy the boys and any proof of their existence. George became aware of the doctors plans and was the first to strike. The doctor was hog tied and thrown off a bridge never to know that he created the greatest rock band of all time. The group of genetic miscreants decided to start a band. Dallas stepped forth with a name. Since Dallas had no mother he had taken to watching lactating pornography...
and thus ALEXISONFIRE, the band, was born.
Source: http://www.theonlybandever.com/bio.asp |
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Discussion Topic
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Creator
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interview with AOF by Brian
Rutherford
Alexisonfire (Alexis~on~fire)
Part of the wave of up and coming artists
bulleting through the glamour of stage, and
the taste of green. This St. Catharines,
Ontario quintuplet may have been going
through the same motions and steps as most
artists do after inking a record deal, but
the overall drive and focus of 'AOF'
has stayed the same since day one with Equal
Vision Records. Music, emotion, rhythm and
performance equal steady progression and
maturity. One part of the equation may be the
full backing and patience invested by the
ever improving Equal Vision records.
Chris, Dallas, Jesse, George and Wade make up
the five equal parts showing the music
industry how much an artist can mature with a
little time and experience. With the new
album ‘Watch Out’ on shelves everywhere, lead
vocalist George 'Logan' spoke honestly
about the improvements made on the June 29th
release. “I think if you do it long enough,
than u get better at it. You’re on the road a
lot and you just get better. Also, we had a
great producer, Julius Butty. We learned what
we like to play.” George continues over the
loud, happy go lucky crew in the background.
“We’re no longer virgins to the studio. We’re
just not quite the band we we’re a long time
ago.”
After the success and acclamation of
“Pulmonary Archery” on video stations like
Muchmusic, ‘Accidents’ has been fingered for
the first video off this release. Powerful
from the start, this track encompasses the
new and improved AOF, while their sound still
remains as hungry as ever. This song only
sets the tone for a trip through yet another
revolution of rock music. Instead of
wondering which of 11 tracks will become a
single, the progression of this album becomes
more of a concept album without the concept.
If that makes any sense? Each song seeming
almost Epic like. “A lot of those songs were
first draft. A lot of stuff just kind of fell
on the page, and it is what it is.” said
George with confident tone.
Most critics familiar with the 2003
self-titled release could speak of an album
so rich in aggressive hooks that it
overflowed causing frustration to the ears.
It seems these guys have harnessed that
aggression and emotion, equally on all 11
songs this time around. Songs like “Hey, It’s
your funeral Mama” have a mind numbing mix of
melodies ranging from 80’s metal slide
chords, to the strengths of what most would
consider “SCREEM0“,.
While some changes like clearer vocals and
longer chord repetition may be culture shock
to fans of old, its made an amazing
difference in associating familiarity with
each song in its own characteristic. Track
seven “Sharks and Danger” starts off with the
clicking of a keyboard and never looks back.
The everyday intro build up and transforms
into a berserk chord change.
Simple, smooth and still ballsy. George
admitted a certain personal favoritism
towards track nine, ‘White Devil’. “I really
enjoy playing it live. It’s just one of those
songs that just has a pace to it, that really
gets you going”
Often times the culmination of a new album
means time off, but not for AOF. With just
enough time to pick cover art and go,
Alexisonfire struck while the iron was hot
and hit the road, Playing with likes of Death
from above, Jersey, Boys Night Out, and Billy
Talent to name a few. But given the choice,
is there an artist George and his band mates
would look tour with. “There’s lots of bands
I would like to tour with………… (Hesitates)
Bear vs. Shark, we’ve played some shows with
them and they’re absolutely nuts. Just a fun
bunch of dudes…we did like eight days with
them and it wasn’t long enough”
With such a wide variety of styles evident on
“Watch out” its no surprise to hear of them
playing festivals like EdgeFest 2004 in
Canada, Reading Festival and America’s latest
musical farm system, Warped Tour.
However, not all tastes of the industry have
been sweet for these guys. Radio is still too
far behind, and attempt at keeping our
listening habits with acts such as Muddle of
Pudd. So, Alexisonfire may never have their
“O Sh*t, that’s our song.” moment cruising in
the car. Certainly, George has an opinion on
this matter. “Yea there’s a lot of things we
could be doing to grab more media attention.
We just kind of write what we want, and it is
what it is”. Yes, this album down grades from
the raw, deflecting metal it once was. The
trade is welcomed when you consider the
serious upgrades of clarity these guys have
made in “Watch Out” .
Most importantly things are still fun to the
five boys from some small town in Ontario.
And If a Dr. Helcama should come back for his
revenge and this artist thing ends for
George, his back up plan certainly proves his
natural rock star abilities. “When I can’t do
it anymore….. I’m planning on doing lots of
LSD, and walking around on the tracks
(Laughs)”. Find out why Jeff Buckley, Michael
Jackson and The Misfits all show up on the
website of these young men.
www.theonlybandever.com
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hstisgod |
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Replys
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Listener
| | very interesting. | xxMusicGurlxx | that wasnt really an interview though it was
more like a long description of the band with
a couple of quotes. | davidguy65 | sorry to say my friend... that WAS an
interview DONE WITH GEORGE via the telephone
summer '04 while they were at Canada's
Edgefest...the reason it seems the way youre
describing is cos the journalist who wrote is
not lazy. Ofcourse im the journalist... but
the point being Anyone can type up an
interview Q/A style and simply print the
things the artists say... but real interviews
are the ones that dont read like Q/A...Please
pull you're head from the gutters of
simplicity and read between the lines...
Youre friend
Brian (hstisgod) | hstisgod | | | |
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