Monday, November 6th, 2006
A Good Attitude is the Key to Successful Conflict-Management
Don't react too quickly to adversity... relax, evaluate, process and mature. Let trust be your ally. Trust gives you the wherewithal to resolve conflict and maintain important relationships...
What makes a good entertainer a great success? That's the question industry specialists have been asking themselves for many years. A lot of thinking people in our industry say it comes down to three words. Attitude, Attitude, Attitude!
A strong positive attitude within a group, performance team or entertainment organization not only means they can better enjoy the people they work with, it also means they have pride in what they do and can maintain good relationships with their support people. Relationships are really the key to how people work together, in how they trust, respect and treat each other, and how effectively they can grow within the support systems of managers, agents, media and the general public.
The inevitable conflicts in the career-building process can be very destructive. Sometimes conflict can be positive, and is required to achieve meaningful change - to challenge outdated policies, to spur action, to address an injustice or present a better way to do things. But destructive conflict does little to create positive change. It can turn group members and associates into adversaries and can eventually turn these relationships totally toxic. While most of us understand the advantages of long-term business relationships and try and avoid any conflicts, the fact is that our business in general creates the exact conditions that lead to conflict.
Performers with diverse personalities come together in interdependent relationships (group members, agents, managers, etc) with unclear or unreasonable expectations. Add to that landscape the stress brought on by rehearsal schedules, start-up expenses, too few engagements and unrealistic goals, and the stage is set for some serious drama. According to workplace consultants a typical manager spends 30% of his or her time managing conflict. A frightening thought, but better than the alternative of not dealing with it.
For the greatest part, the personality clashes and griping between group members and support teams is swept under the carpet. The trouble with that is that it never stays under the carpet, and the situation is likely to explode at the most inopportune moment. Many conflicts are born over time, slowly building and becoming ever more complicated until one day no one can remember what the original issues really were. Not addressed in their early stages, conflicts become a tangle of hurt feelings, misperceptions, assumptions, resentment and other complications. The murkier the mess gets, the less chance there is that any agents, managers, group members or friends will want to step in to mediate. And, not dealt with, a conflict can often escalate to intolerable levels. A group will break up after years of performing together, a successful entertainer will quit the business, and an otherwise successful career can be terminated in one irreversible rant.
How do we deal with such disruption? One place to start is to look inward... "What part did I play in the conflict and what can I do to avoid a similar problem in the future?" Any insight we can gain into our own motivation and presentation of self can help us to better our conflict-management skills. Many of us act habitually in the face of conflict, for example, pretending nothing is wrong or diving straight in with a goal of winning at all costs.
When seeking resolution to conflict, it's important to draw out the real issues and move beyond the "she or he misunderstood me" mentality. It's especially important to get away from discussing personality traits, which can often come off as sounding insulting. Everyone involved must collaborate to find solutions. If a power-wielder (band-leader, agent, manager or producer) imposes a solution or superficially satisfies the participants in conflict, their real needs are not met and resentment is certain to build.
Therefore, it is a good idea to recognize the preliminary signs of conflict and make the correct adjustment before the explosion. Don't let tension become the primary force in any relationship or business dealing. When people are feeling unappreciated and unrecognized, when every idea seems to get a negative response and there are constant misunderstandings and arguments that are never addressed, let alone resolved, it should be no surprise that conflict is escalating and a big blow-up of one kind or another is just around the corner.
You can see the signs of conflict long before it gets to that point. The biggest sign is change. Even positive change has a way of making people feel uncertain, uncomfortable and even threatened. All changes (including group members, new projects, restructured goals or business associates) large or small have a personal impact on individuals throughout your entire support system and they are very difficult to measure. There can be confusion and insecurity at every level... how will the change affect each individual and their present roles? Lack of understanding the change and how it relates to everyone's role in the bigger picture can cause them to lose sight of what you're doing and where you're going.
It is important to address the sense of rising conflict immediately. While it may be tempting to let things work themselves out, it could be a fatal error. Change must be strategically explained and potential conflict must be brought out, addressed and discussed. It can be a scary road to go down, talking to band members and business associates who may be agitated, angry, hurt or upset. Once you begin the conversation, you don't know where it might go, the level of feelings you may uncover or the work and personal issues that may be involved. These conversations ultimately centre around feelings and they won't necessarily be straightforward conversations.
A good place to start with such conversations is "How have you been affected by this?" and "What would you like to see happen now?" The conversation should also involve correcting unrealistic or inaccurate ideas and assumptions, clearing up misconceptions and clarifying vague and confusing information. The process requires some empathy, honesty and a willingness to put all the cards on the table and talk about the goals and motivations of everyone involved as a whole.
Probably the most important part of conflict-management is your negotiation skills... and the most important element in negotiation is maintaining a pleasant attitude. You want to make the other party aware that they need you while, at the same time, letting them know that you need them.
It is so true that "We Are All of Us" and we all need each other.
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