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Drlunk's blog
| Tuesday, October 25th, 2005
Art or Circumstance?
As certain murky governmental entities continue to overtly dog both Bill and myself, I thought it best to publicly post this. Also originating as an email to the creative force behind The Pralines, it followed "The Wind Is In The Buffalo" by about three weeks and chronicles my second encounter with the US Postal Service. Heed the warnings of these posts, people. The USPS is the one government service that is intergrated utterly into both the public and private sectors. Though it may not pull the strings, it certainly is an enabling body and conduit for all manner of dispicable operations. Approach their facilities and your home mailboxes with caution and alertness. Though a minor theme, this was written in the aftermath of Hurricane Dennis and takes a couple of punches at the 24 hour cable media that can't seem to decide if it wants to be of service to the public or is a training ground for show business.
At 8:27am, I gathered together three cds and set off for the post office. Fearing that it was the cranberry Saturn that was the origin of all my woes during my last postal adventure (see "The Wind is in the Buffalo" for details), I elected to walk the two blocks this morning. I stepped out of my back door, well, only door, as a desk laden with my computer and pieces of studio hardware blocks the front door, a fact that I've been keeping from the Bargersville Fire Marshall for the last 10 years, as it is clearly a flagrant violation of local statutes, and I certainly do not need to run afoul of that government entity, particularly as they are a volunteer brigade and all the prancing I've witnessed over the years.
Now, where was I?
The sky was overcast and just a little rainy, remnants of Hurricane Dennis that had recently worked out its personal problems by pounding hell out of a number of southern trailer parks. God, get a therapist, guy! We've all got problems, you know. What makes you so special? And why always target these clueless folks in trailers? They owe you money or something? Geez, I'm just tired of all this blowing and blustering. But most of all, I'm tired of 24 hour news networks that stroke your ego, and God knows what else, every time you, or one of your relatives, storms into town with a mad on and proceed to rape and pillage. These media idiots just cram on vid-loops, one after another, along with direct feeds from places like Sissaphuc, Florida, showing the death and destruction all the while nattering on with really insightful chatter like "Oh, my yes, Laurie, I've never seen such death and destruction", all the while displaying an electronic title, written by some twit whose dream must have been to be head writer for SNL but just didn't have the chops, with some glib attempt to lighten the mood like "Dennis Is Still A Menace". And people think I'm a heartless bastard! Hell, give me that job and I'll give the scene some real context. How about a title reading "Oh, They Are SO Fucked!” That ought to work up more sympathy for the victims and ratings for the network. I wonder if MSNBC gives bonuses for that or accepts submissions.
Now, where was I?
As there were only a few raindrops falling, I continued on foot to the post office, guarding as best I could the three cds I had prepared for The Pralines and my old friend. I was so honored to have been entrusted with the digital conversion and noise removal of a cassette tape of demos for their next project. Most of the analysis and sonic surgery was fairly pedestrian, but there were a few tracks that I swear must have been recorded on Edison’s original Victrola. And those tracks that started and ended with what appeared to be street noise. What were those all about? Was that art or circumstance? Days were spent pondering whether that should be removed. Though I could have emailed an inquiry, I just couldn't risk the embarrassment on either side of the question. If it was just street noise and not removed, then my tech abilities would no longer be trusted. If art and I removed it, then I would be exposed as a clueless bonehead. Even worse, what if it was art, and I removed it, and what if the Pralines had forgotten about it, and when they went to the studio to record the final version and didn't have 18 tracks devoted to getting just that perfect 'street signature', and everyone knew something was wrong with the track, something no one could put their finger on, and this led to tension among the members, which brought up old grievances and accusations, and all this hoojoo embedded itself upon the audio and what would have been both a magnificent work of art and that runaway radio hit they had dreamed of just fell flat and never got the radio play that would have finally made all the years of struggle so worth it. And it would be all my fault. The pressure on me was just too great and had flung me into a nasty feedback loop of indecision. Ultimately, I just had to go with first principles and I snipped the "noise" out. God, please make that the right choice.
Now, where was I?
Walking into the post office, I went directly to the service counter, which was empty of patrons and employees. As I picked out the correct mailer, inserted the discs and filled out the address information, I could hear Susie and Barbara talking and laughing on the sorting floor. I waited at the service counter for about a minute, stuffing my trouser pockets with as many Dum Dums suckers as possible from a basket that was always there "for the kiddies", when Susie backed out of the sorting floor, finishing her conversation with Barbara with "Oh, if you had held IT, you would have known he, and the bruises, were worth it!", followed with that snorty laugh that just raises my temperature every time I hear it. Turning and spotting me, she gave a little go-go girl vertical leap and wiggle and said "Mike! I'm so glad to see you made it back! Are you alright, hon?" "Well, I don't think my ears are going to ever dry out from all the water cannoning, but otherwise, I'm ok" was my reply. "Sug, are you going to go to the Fire Department's fish fry this weekend?" she asked. "Well, I don't know, Susie, I kinda lost my taste for fish after what happened last year." "Oh, Mike, don't be like that. I think the burns healed real nice. And we did have a ball before things got out of hand." That, in fact, we did. "Yeah, but I knew that was a bad place to spray lighter fluid." "So, how can I do ya today" she said with that gleam in her eye whose meaning always eluded me. Taking the mailer from me, she turned to the scale and cash register and asked "Cheap and uninsured, right?" adding a snortiggle. Turning to me, she said "Sorry, I just couldn't resist." Squeezing the mailer, she asked "What's in here, a book?" "No, Susie, just a couple of audio cds." "Are they CD-Rs?" "Yes." “Are these some of your Huckleberry CD-Rs?” “No, actually they are of an old friend of mine.” For a brief moment, a slight wave of sadness washed across her face and I could see her go into PRO MODE. "Do these CD-Rs contain copyrighted material, Mike?" she inquired with a slightly stern tone. "Well, Pam was always pretty good about copyrighting her songs. Yeah, they probably do, Susie. Is that a problem?" Sighing softly and tears, yes, real tears, forming in her eyes, she said "I'm so sorry, Mike. I really am. We could have had so much fun this weekend." "Susie, I don't see the problem. I was just doing some cleanup work on demo tapes for my friend and I'm sending the results to her." But she said nothing further, merely tapped a series of numbers on the cash register. The floor fell from under my feet and I plummeted into darkness and unconsciousness. Waking an indeterminable time later, I once again found myself naked, tied to a chair and undergoing water cannoning. And I swear, operating the cannon was Jack Valenti.
Now, where was I?
| | Posted By Drlunk @ 9:44 AM | [Comment on this blog post] |
| djinfla's comment posted October 26th @ 2:50 AM:
Doc - all of us here at corporate appreciate your desire to "come clean" with any and all of your past dealings with the GOVT. We understand your sincereity of wishing us here at VCE to have all the "data". Obviously, we were all concerned as to how the feds got wind of VCE and our party this weekend past. Like I said, Agent Gonnafindout mentioned to me that they did indeed have a "watchdog" who had put him on to us. We will endeavor to uncover that mole.
I can see how your escapades with the USPS would raise the likelihood of them being suspicious of all your dealings. But, not to fret. These things from our past may be untidy, and sometimes embarassing when we try to re-create ourselves in a new dimension...it's ok. Doc, anybody that can stand up to two nude encounters with Jack Valente and a water cannon without "breaking", is just the kind of person we need spearheading our initial penetration into uncharted territory. You just hold fast to your values, stand by your beliefs, and by all means ....bang the hell out of Sue over at the post office and maybe some of this Fed crap will die down! lmmfao-dj |
| B-ill's comment posted October 26th @ 5:18 AM:
although you being water cannoned naked by jack valenti does not paint a pretty picture!(we may have to edit some of this in the movie) i do have to agree with dj on this one!! job well done lunk! working with the feds kinda reminds of the saying "if a tree falls in a forest and a mans wife is not there to hear it ,..is he still wrong?" |
| Drlunk's comment posted October 26th @ 1:00 PM:
Oh, I'm chronicaling a whole series of misadventures with Susie and the USPS. Haven't been able to get back to it for a while. These two adventures were all spurred around my involvement with The Pralines and Pam Richardson and the blantant add here is that everyone should go to www.cdBaby.com, buy "Song of the Day Cafe" and leave a post saying "DrLunk sent me!" Give the girl a break! The CD is great! |
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