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Chicodelongest's blog
| Wednesday, November 9th, 2005
Homeless
She left her home in her early teens,
In torn shirt and faded jeans.
Looking for the love she was never given,
Away from her family she was finally driven.
She sits by the fountain every day,
Her lovely young face looking cold and grey.
Her sad blue eyes slowly searching around,
Looking for coins dropped on the ground.
With pleading eyes she holds out a hand,
In pouring rain for hours she will stand.
All she wants is a lttle respite,
And something warm for her teeth to bite.
Uncaring people pass her by,
They see her plight and wonder why,
So young a person has no home,
And around the streets aimlessly roam.
Addicts and prostitutes, she knows them all,
They tell her the dangers, if her pride should fall.
Often tempted, her back to the wall,
When deep inside she hears a call.
Her bed is a box propped in a door,
Often her body is tender and sore.
But when she sees those ever so younger,
She forgers the pain caused by hunger.
Up to the skies she will often look,
Remembering words she read in a book.
The meaning now she can clearly see,
"Suffer little children to come unto me".
Posted By Chicodelongest @ 3:59 PM | Comments: 1 |
| Wednesday, November 9th, 2005
Let Go
Here I am alone again
Sitting by my self.
Feeling the same pain I have for so long.
When am I going to wake up from this dreary dream?
It’s time to face reality,
Only I am not yet ready.
Here I am alone again
Pretending to be somebody I am not.
Only wish I can break out of the shell,
And show my true self to the world.
It’s time to face reality,
Only it’s way too early for that.
Here I am alone again
Taking away my sweet precious time on something useless.
I must let go of the hand, and walk on my own.
It’s a difficult thing to encounter,
Especially when you have been treated like an infant.
Stuck inside your mother’s arms,
Nowhere to go…. Sleeping peacefully,
Having no worries in the world.
Here I am alone again
Explaining a point that has not yet gotten to the point.
Wish I can leave and come back as somebody else.
Somebody with that charisma and intelligence that
Brightens up a room when everyone is around.
Having no problems with anything, except the fact that
Too many like you.
Here I am kind of alone again
Writing to my only friend.
Hoping to change from a moth to a fly.
Escaping the enclosed earth and flapping wings in the sky.
Surviving by myself and trying to create a life that is suitable to me.
Here I am not alone anymore
Finding myself….. Finding myself in the world.
Everybody has their own way of doing things, as do I.
I open up my eyes from a bad dream and perspiration drips like raindrops.
Reality has woken me up,
And says it’s time to let go.
Posted By Chicodelongest @ 3:57 PM | Comments: 2 |
| Wednesday, November 9th, 2005
Its not ok
It seems ok, but they all can’t see,
The pain inside that’s affecting me,
I’ve lost old me along the way,
And all I see is the worst of everyday,
Pretending im fine and not mentioning a thing,
Im not really fussed of what life’s got to bring,
I get the tool and cut real deep,
My life is going downhill steep,
It feels too right that I just can’t stop,
I cry at night and just want to drop,
I smile and chant when others are around,
They don’t know my secret that ive tried to drown,
Im not ok and I just can’t stop,
It’s hard being me but that’s what I got,
Im hoping that I may die today,
And all my pain will go away
Posted By Chicodelongest @ 3:56 PM | Comments: 2 |
| Wednesday, October 12th, 2005
If I Could...
She asks me if I'm going to stay.
She's afraid, I might go away.
I tell her that I'm here for good.
I wouldn't leave her, if I could.
She thinks I want my troubled past.
Why? I'm free of it, at long last.
I love her so much, I thought she understood.
I wouldn't leave her, if I could.
Those people and things, I left behind.
Are only memories of another time.
Back when I was up to no good.
I wouldn't go back, if I could.
There are those, that work the art.
Of trying to brake us apart.
They might as well give up, they really should.
There is no way in Hell. I would leave her.
Even if I could...
Posted By Chicodelongest @ 2:37 PM | Comments: 4 |
| Sunday, October 9th, 2005
Suicide and Depression
SUICIDE
Suicide is the second leading cause of death among people between the ages of 14 to 25 in the United States! Every 100 minutes another teenager will commit suicide.
An estimated 276,000 teenagers between the ages of 14 and 17 will try to kill themselves each year. About 5000 will succeed.
Twenty-seven percent of high school students said they had "thought seriously" about killing themselves during the past year. Eight percent said they had actually tried to kill themselves.
Ten percent of U.S. college students admitted serious thoughts about suicide. Seven percent had a suicide plan.
Most suicides occur in the home between 3 PM to midnight. There are 30 to 50 times as many attempted suicides as completed suicides.
People who talk about suicide often commit suicide. All talk about suicide should be taken seriously. People often have opposing feelings about whether or not they want to die, so there is always hope that they can change their minds if they receive professional help.
Suicide attempts are frequently made during periods of high-anxiety; if the stress is relieved, the attempter may change his or her mind. If you suspect a friend is contemplating suicide, take the initiative and just ask the person, "Are you thinking about killing or harming yourself?" and "How are you going to kill yourself?" This will often get them to talk about it.
Some people who are suicidal are very good at hiding their emotional pain, that is why it is okay to just come out and ask if you think someone is hurting on the inside. Very often those people are appearing cheerful and popular on the outside to mask their pain and suicidal thoughts on the inside.
Remember, just because a suicidal person may get professional help and overcome his suicidal feelings, this in itself does not mean those feelings will not return, especially when the person is confronted once again by the stress and the problems that caused him or her to consider suicide in the first place.
Some Warning Signs of Suicide:
-depression
-anger or hostility
-inability to feel pleasure
-feeling hopeless
-guilt
-isolation or withdrawal
-insomnia
-loss of appetite
-preoccupation with death
-giving things away that were once valued
-ending significant relationships or commitments (breaking up)
-sudden uplift in mood after depression
-sudden change in behavior or disruptive behavior
-promiscuity (being very sexually active)
-severe outbursts of temper
-excessive substance use
-absence from school or work
-inability to carry out normal tasks of daily life
-inability to laugh
Sometimes a depressed person plans an act of suicide in advance. (Often the planning of an act gives the person some feeling of control). Most often however, suicide attempts are “impulsive acts”. These acts occur during a time of feeling overwhelmingly upset. A situation like a breakup, an unintended pregnancy, the death of a sibling, a fight with a parent or boyfriend or girlfriend, being harmed by abuse or rape, or being victimized in any way can cause a young person to feel desperately upset. “Coming out” for homosexual teens can also lead to suicidal attempts if that person is no longer accepted by their family or friends.
In situations such as these, teens may fear humiliation, rejection, social isolation, or another consequence they think they can’t handle. Suicide attempts occur under conditions like this because in desperation and confusion, some teens see no other way out.
DEPRESSION
Approximately 1 out of 15 teenagers get seriously depressed each year.
What is Depression?
Depression is a type of mental disorder that affects a person’s mood. It can affect your thoughts, feelings, behavior, and overall health. Depression can affect anybody, including teenagers. Most people with depression can be helped with treatment, but many depressed people never get the help they need. When depression isn’t treated, it can get worse, last longer, and prevent you from getting the most out of your life. Remember, you're only a teenager once.
When You're Depressed...
-You feel sad or cry a lot and it doesn't go away.
-You feel guilty for no real reason; you feel like you're no good; you've lost your confidence.
-Life seems meaningless or like nothing good is ever going to happen again.
-You have a negative attitude a lot of the time, or it seems like you have no feelings.
-You don't feel like doing a lot of the things you used to like -- like music, sports, being with friends, going out -- and you want to be left alone most of the time.
-It's hard to make up your mind. You forget lots of things, and it's hard to concentrate.
-You get irritated often. Little things make you lose your temper; you overreact.
-Your sleep pattern changes; you start sleeping a lot more or you have trouble falling asleep at night. Or you wake up really early most mornings and can't get back to sleep.
-Your eating habits change; you've lost your appetite or you eat a lot more.
-You feel restless and tired most of the time.
-You think about death, or feel like you're dying, or have thoughts about committing suicide.
Why Do People Get Depressed?
Sometimes people get seriously depressed after a intense incident, like a divorce in the family, someone you love dying, a stressful home life, violence, or breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend. Other times, depression just happens by itself.
Often teenagers react to the pain of depression by getting into trouble; trouble with alcohol, drugs, or sex; trouble with school or bad grades; problems with family or friends. This is another reason why it's important to get treatment for depression before it leads to other trouble.
What about suicide?
Most people who are depressed do not commit suicide. But depression increases the risk for suicide or suicide attempts. It is NOT true that people who talk about suicide do not attempt it. Suicidal thoughts, remarks, or attempts are ALWAYS SERIOUS... if any of these happen to you or a friend, you must tell a responsible adult IMMEDIATELY!
ALL talk of suicide should be taken seriously! Ask the person -- "Do you feel like killing yourself?" Just come out and ask -- then let them talk.
We're not alone...
Posted By Chicodelongest @ 9:51 PM | Comments: 3 |
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