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One_of_a_kind_o_O's blog
| Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
RADA RADA!
OH snap. Long time no see.
Im a Senior, Living Life, Loving my motha fucking peeps! Not much has been going on. Smoking, Drinking, Chillen, Hippi-in it up!
Looking to Graduate so I can travel and meet all my US friends Ive gotten to know on here and Myspace.
Schools as bitch as always.
Posted By One_of_a_kind_o_O @ 10:25 AM | Comments: 0 |
| Wednesday, February 6th, 2008
Its Almost Spring!!!
Omfg Im so happy. Its almost Spring and then my Depression will end. I'm starting to really straighten up my life. Trying harder in school, gaining more willpower for the whole drug thing, getting my priorities and shit straight, etc.
Schools going great. Family is aight. I've lost a rwally old close friend though which really sux but... life goes on.
I have to say that my only friends (here) would be:
Allison, Jenealle, Amelia, Skyler, Chris, Alex, Tara... and I think thats its.
I would say Ananda but shit... shes in and out of my life so much for SO many reasons that I cant classify her as anything.
But yea lifes going great.
I Love You Guys!
~Harley
Posted By One_of_a_kind_o_O @ 7:48 AM | Comments: 1 |
| Tuesday, January 15th, 2008
Feeling Torn and Shattered
Skillet - Comatose
"I hate feeling like this
I’m so tired of trying to fight this
I’m asleep and all I dream of
Is waking to you
Tell me that you will listen
Your touch is what I’m missing
And the more I hide I realize I’m slowly losing you
Comatose
I’ll never wake up without an overdose of you
Chorus:
I don’t wanna live
I don’t wanna breathe
‘les I feel you next to me
you take the pain I feel
waking up to you never felt so real
I don’t wanna sleep
I don’t wanna dream
‘cause my dreams don’t comfort me
The way you make me feel
Waking up to you never felt so real
I hate living without you
Dead wrong to ever doubt you
But my demons lay in waiting
Tempting me away
Oh how I adore you
Oh how I thirst for you
Oh how I need you
Bridge: Breathing life
Waking up My eyes
Open up
Don’t leave me alone"
I know what I really want... so why can't I achieve it?
I hate this emotional side of me right now. I feel like so a pathetic fool its not even funny.
I miss what use to be. When everything was so care-free and I didnt care at all. I want all of everything for me to just end and so I could go back to what everything was. Summer was the 1st time I had been truely happy in the longest time.
I owe it all to Audrey my Biggie-Me. No this isnt about her if anyone is thinking that now.
I don't know what to do right now. Im in such a state of being tossed around that I can't really grasp anything.
I just need an escape. But it seems like I cant find one except drugs but that never solved anything.
Reality... so strange. I hate it. ^^
My heart goes out to the one I want to commit forever to.
Kayliegh...
I've fucked up and fucked around alot but no matter what she stays by me and no words could EVER describe how much thats touched me in the 9/10 months Ive known her.
If I could have my way right now Id be with her right now on one knee.
Im so tired of lust fucking with my head when real love is staring me right in the eyes...
Im just so tired of waiting. I need another Summer of 07' ! Grrr! Lol
Well thats whats been up lately or I should say been accumilating inside my brain for quite a while.
I Love You Guys =]
Posted By One_of_a_kind_o_O @ 10:10 AM | Comments: 2 |
| Thursday, January 3rd, 2008
New Years and The Days Of Tomorrow
Wow dude. My New Years this year blew my breath away. I had the time of my life hanging out with the random people and 2 of my good friends (Would of been 3 if one of then didnt ditch in the end lol)
Im really gonna try and calm my life down and get shit straight. Final Exams are coming up fast and Im not ready at all and I need to stop fucking up for I need to get the hell off probation!
Lol
Lifes really good though right now soI dont really have any complaints. I hope all my peeps are doing well and I love you guys with all my heart!
Cya!
Posted By One_of_a_kind_o_O @ 6:49 AM | Comments: 1 |
| Wednesday, December 12th, 2007
Starting Over!
Shit! Im finally going back to normal. After a bitch fit with my ex yesterday, Im able to move on with my life and go back to whatever I was doing.
Im going back to partying soon hopefully. I need to keep it on a DL though. Unfortunatly. *pouts*
Im EXTREMEMELY grateful for all my friends on here. If it werent for you guys Id most likely be in a Hospital with straps an shit on.
You have my gratitude for life. Schools getting better.
Friends here are .... lets say themselves. Bastards that really shouldnt be called my friends except Tara, Allison, Audrey, and... maybe a couple others? Lol
Tis sad when you love and trust more people/friends you get on here then in real life I swear.
Not much else is up. Just trying to erase my past and really start over this time. Im done with relationships until Im hella older. I need to do something about my "perfectionist cheating problem" or what the fuck ever it is.
But yea I Love You All!
Posted By One_of_a_kind_o_O @ 11:32 AM | Comments: 2 |
| Monday, December 10th, 2007
Mrow...
Well then. Things havent been getting better and I cant let go, BUT on the bright side things arent getting worse... at least I dont think so.
A few of my friends are going through similar things like I am right now and its funny sorta.
Im staying away from alcohol cuz god I thought I was gonna die alot this weekend.
Im just gonna stick with pills ^^ lol
Man I cant wait till Christmas. The Pussy Posse ( *My friends and I's group gang thing* )
members Allison, Tara and I are gonna like get Shrooms and Smoke up and takes some Painkillers.
We are gonna get straight fucked UP. I cant wait lol. This could be the Adrenaline Rush Ive been looking for to be happy for a while.
^^ I hopes.
Schools just...ugh. Its helping me BE sad. Idk why though. I guess its the whole fact I have to be surrounded by a bunch of fucktards and use to be friends while in my state right now. Its stupid.
Home lifes spectacular. Im close with my family.
Heh I dont know if I said anything about a girl I was interested in but I sorta was. I saw her (Heather's her name) Saturday and we and a couple others chilled Saturday and then I realized I still really love Amanda and theres no way in hell I could date anyone anytime soon. I told her that and shes cool with it. She couldnt figure out if she was Bi or not anyway lmao. God I HATE how I can never make up my mind. Fucking Geminis. ^^
Well thats about all thats going on in my life.
I Love You All!
Posted By One_of_a_kind_o_O @ 9:51 AM | Comments: 0 |
| Friday, December 7th, 2007
Todays the Day I've Been Looking For
Im Moving On.
Words I Love to say.
Im done with having feeling for my ex. Its only putting me through torment and if she's not even willing to talk to me to even work out a friendship; Im saying fuck it. I may seem like an asshole for not giving her more time but *shrugs* I guess thats how I roll.
Im gonna concentrate on other things and put her out of mind. It'll be hard as hell but Im gonna do it.
Schools more important. Friends are more important. *especially all my great ones on here*
Love is something that happens all the time. No one person should get stuck on a past love. Another person will come along in the end. You just have to be strong till then.
Posted By One_of_a_kind_o_O @ 12:07 PM | Comments: 1 |
| Wednesday, December 5th, 2007
AHHHHH! Its Coming To Eat Me!
Muhahaha. Harleys having a good day.
Good things are going on but I dont know how long the feeling will last lol.
My mom didnt go to jail. Shes still home.
I need to catch up on school work like whoa.
Need to start saving moeny for drugs, permit, and phone bill.(< Im fucked with that) lol
Friends are dushes but I love them to death.My schools a peice of shit man. Like the faculty is scared of me. They are afriad I could fuck there sytem up with how I act and I love that power xD.
Well enough ranting.
Im off to linger in la-la land.
Much Love You Guys
(How can you guys love such a crazy fuck?)
Posted By One_of_a_kind_o_O @ 11:31 AM | Comments: 0 |
| Tuesday, November 27th, 2007
I Hate Myself... Yet I Love Myself
WTF Man.
I fuck up everything.
I had everything with my girlfriend yet I fucked it up by cheating.
Im miserable without her.
Not to mention some fucktard said to a guidance counsler that I was suicidal which made me have to go to a fucking hospital yesterday.
Gay shit. I was so rebellious. They had to restrain me from hitting them.
I ended up fine after the hospital and the school should die.
I just wanna like hide in a hermit shell and go far away.
God life is so worthless and so are people. (except my friends)
And if anyone things Im emo for writting this, fuck you cuz Im fucking not.
Peace Love and French Fries
Posted By One_of_a_kind_o_O @ 9:31 AM | Comments: 2 |
| Friday, November 2nd, 2007
Just a Rant of Randomness
Well.
Here I am in Geometry thinking crazy.
Im Tired and Bored.
Im talking to ONE of the girls that like me.
I feel like Im an asshole. Dont ask. I just feel that way.
My Gf's friend likes me as well which is creating funny drama.
Schools the same old same old.
My moms going back to jail... which is really putting a blow to my head since its Christmas... When she leaves it might even be for a year and then she'll miss my 17th... Man. Thanking about her gone for so long makes me wanna cry.
I hate my father like always. I lOve my mother and brother as always.
Probations still a bitch. Hopefully I'll be done soon.
Job avaliablity is a BITCH!
My friends and the love of my life or why Im alive.
I NEED A CAR AND LISCENSE NOW! lol
Im going crazy repeating EVERYTHING over and over again. God.
ALSO. RELIGION SUCKS BALLS AND CHRISTIANITY CAN EAT ME!
Sorry I just reaaaalllly hate God. But I hate how I hate something NOT REAL. I bug myself and thats strange to think about lol.
Well Im done rambling.
I Love You ALL!
~Harley
Posted By One_of_a_kind_o_O @ 11:22 AM | Comments: 2 |
| Thursday, October 11th, 2007
Gah! I Fucking Hate Them ALL.
Uhh I fucking hate Amber, Amelia, Jenealle, Courtney, Krystle, Skyler, Julie, and other bitches that I use to associate.
My old school friends are shit to me. They act as if Im non existant.
I swear I should drop out, move in with my best friend in denton and enjoy the rest of my highschool instead of rotting my feeling away at useless fuckers called friends.
Grrr I fucking hate it.
Just fuck it. I'll be a loner in school. Get along with the teachers, go to school to LEARN instead of socializing an shit, and then maybe I might succeed.
I hope they all drop dead. I may be bored for a couple hours a day being a loner in school but at least I wont feel like useless shit when I try to talk to my old friends and they act like Im noone.
Posted By One_of_a_kind_o_O @ 10:31 AM | Comments: 2 |
| Wednesday, September 26th, 2007
Sadness...
I've lost a friend that I really cared for and I just found out it was what the hell she thought about when people told her that its weird that she hungout with a Bisexual that liked her.
I cant talk to her anymore in school...
I would try to go to her house after school if I knew she wouldnt slam the door in my face.
I care so much about her but she wont give me the time of day...
I think after I give her her birthday present today... Im gonna try to forget about her since what other people think means more to her then a friend that would do almost anything for her...
It just sucks so bad... and its like almost impossible to get over when she lives like right next to me, I see her everyday at school and my friends talk about her.
I cant wait till she graduates but then that means the rest of my senior friends graduate to.
*sighs* MY GOD why does this year suck.
Oh and to top it off, the girl I like Alex fucking backstabed me sorta and now her an I are weird...
Though it be cool if I could still be friends with her even though Im kinda pissed at her still.
Grrr. Then I have to go to Court on th 4th of October.
My mom might be going back to jail when she goes back to Court (it was postponed)
and im still on Probation so I cant like go on drugs to make myself feel better.
Which is good I guess cuz Im doing good in school... but uh.
Yea Im sorry if Im rambling but Im on Adderal and pissed and sad and happy so Im like freakin out....
Isnt this what like Anxiety is like?
Maybe I should go on Depression and Anxiety medicine an shit...
Lol well Yea I'll talk to everyone later (if anyone read this)
Peace
Posted By One_of_a_kind_o_O @ 9:22 AM | Comments: 3 |
| Tuesday, September 11th, 2007
Blah!!!
IM BACK! Woohoo! Lol.
School sux this year. Drama. Drama. Drama!
Single and Ive finally given up completely on guys. They're just to freakin werid for me.
Alot of Juvenile shit to deal with. Yippee... *cough* lol
ONE more year of school then I Graduate. Holy shit. Where did my life go?
I miss my partying days so bad but I gotta straighten out some things before I go back which really BLOWS!
I work, omg! Lol Im not a lazy bastard like I was before. ;p
Well I thing Ive gotton all thats on my mind out but IDK lol.
Much LoVe!
~Harley
Posted By One_of_a_kind_o_O @ 9:47 AM | Comments: 1 |
| Monday, December 18th, 2006
Poems of Past Experiences and Some New Experiences
“I love You”
As I woke up with the morning sun
I saw your beautiful face
Your slight smile
Your chest rising in small breathes
I raised my and hand and stroked you cheek gently
And smiled myself at your smooth skin
I couldn’t take my eyes off you
I couldn’t even blink
For I was afraid to miss a single movement
I decided to take your hand in mine
Leaning closer until I was close enough to your ear
Your warm breath upon my neck
I whispered quietly
“I Love You”
“Love Eternal”
The 1st time our eyes met
Id knew I’d love you forever
Your dark smile, resembling the fear of the future
It was if you were running,
Running from something
Something you didn’t want to face anymore
The day I took your hand in mine
I swore Id protect you forever
The way you trembled at my touch
Made me crumble inside
You’re the air that I need to live
The girl of my dreams
As soon as “I love you” came from your lips
I thought I’d go insane
Happiness
A word I truly understand now
You are the most addicting thing I’ve ever tried
Whenever your gaze meets mine
The world seems to fall away
This is why our love
Is Love Eternal
Restless Soul
Dreams come and go like people in my life
The sun tries to penetrate my wall of darkness
While the demons within support it
The angels above try to console my mind
When my heart bleed constantly
My words seem to mean nothing
Like life to me
The restless spirit the resides inside
Makes my heart yearn for pain and love
I seem to have lost all hope in finding solace
But I don’t want to give up just yet
I’ve lost so much, but yet I still live
My heart beats faster with every second that goes by
Until one day I let the blood flow and die.
"Burning"
My heart burns ferociously
Trying to heal the pain inside
The Devil within tries to seduce me
When the Angel soothes my aches
The flame of my soul slowly grew
But then rain came pouring over my every barrier,
Taking it out, like a tidal wave to a city
The darkness never ending
And the hurt flows freely
This hole is forever
Like the love that never existed in this world for me
"Darkness"
I raise my head up and look at the sky
School makes me so frustrated I shout ‘Fuck you’ and start to cry
Friends aren’t really there and moms to and from jail
Pain comes and goes, pelting me like hail
I want to run, run to the blissful darkness
I look down, away from the sun, away from the light
Waiting patiently, to run away, away to the protecting night
Depression sometimes makes me laugh
While I get so full of another emotion I cry
It seems life doesn’t want to get any easier no matter how hard you try
"My Ghost"
I run around the world so freely
But my ghost screams, “Hear me!”
I stop, focus, and turn round and round
But I can no longer hear its wonderful sound
I feel so cold and my hands are Ice
And when I scream, it sounds so nice
I run and run till I can’t anymore
And then I collapse to the floor
It hurts so bad but I don’t cry
I know its because I’m going to die
This is why I co around the world so carefree
With the ghost inside screaming, “Hear me, Hear me”
"One Wish"
If I could have one wish,
it would be to hug your demons away.
To comfort your every fear and worry,
to love you unconditionally as a friend.
You walked into my life,
then out
and now you have returned once again.
Is there a reason for your arrival?
Is there an answer for why,.....
I tremble when I see your face;
and to hear your voice means certain restlessness?
I've died twice;
You being one of the reasons,
but I being the one inflicting the final blow.
I seem to strangely gain a piece of me back every time we speak;
Becoming stronger every time I see you smile.
To see that you are happy,
creates the Sun at day;
and the Moon at night.
But,
whenever a tear falls from your eyes,
the world turns black;
Killing all life within me.
I feel what you feel,
Know what you know,
Die when you die.
To know what I feel is real,
seems to worry me, making me want to run away,
but then it fills me with an odd sense of determination.
I just can't backdown and go away yet.
Though I will when the day we finally have to part, comes.
?
?..................?.?.Gemini's.?.?..............(Part 2)?
? Split-up lives and personalities are what we seem to be best at. ?
To love just one side of something is impossible.
We are Careless, Foolish, Naive, Hateful, Restless, Unemotional, and Fickle on one side,
but Loving/Caring, Careful, Calm, Flexible, Clever, Comforting, Fun, Happy, and Easy Going on the other.
Everything changes in our eyes, but stays the same in others.
We're strange but we love it.
Unique and Proud.
Life to us seems to be a game, to see how far we can go on our own limits, to risk everything we have, for that one moment of bliss.
Pushing through barriers are what we live for.
To us, life isn't worth living without Risks, fun, Danger, and Drugs.
Love is something that is experienced throughout the years;
On one side, to love creates happiness and enjoyment.
But on the other, it can rip us into pieces, letting our hearts bleed in a painful agony,
making it so no one is able to help or hear our death-like silent screams.
We are usually not satisfied which is caused because of our Stubborn and
Mercurial ways, like the connected element to our sign, Air.
Moving around constantly,
Giving help if needed/asked for,
loving others,
trying to satisfy our needs, living off of fun/Risks, and finally,
being ourselves
and not letting others get under our skin,
unless they are a loved one we care for deeply.
We live off ourselves,
But,
We are sometimes in need of being dependent.
Emotions are our weapons,
With Tears being our shields.
This is truly what we are all about.
Posted By One_of_a_kind_o_O @ 8:50 AM | Comments: 1 |
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