Zennie's blog
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Sunday, April 23rd, 2006
Dead In 60
Basically I've been blessed these past few months. After my boyfriend broke up with me I've had nothing but the best support in my life form my closest friends...and even though I still love him, I am somewhat ready to move on with my life. Because you can't just sit and dwell in the past forever, but the future is what I'm looking towards right now, and I can see so many good things happening.
I mean, me and my band are starting to get hings together now that we have everybody and we're writting some of the most amazing shit you could ever imagine listening to. I mean seriously, you think some of the bands you listen to are mad crazy? Wait till you hear us =] it's like a fuckin' kick in the face that you just can't get enough of.
As for local shows, we don't have anything booked right now.....because 4 songs isn't enough to cover a 15-30 minute time slot. But we're aiming for an hour people! We need as much air time as we can get, and we need to start saving up for demo recording equipment too.....that shit's expensive ya know?
Anyways, I'm out. Peace bitches.
Posted By Zennie @ 12:19 PM | Comments: 0 |
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Sunday, October 16th, 2005
pissed off........
i hate my mother.
Posted By Zennie @ 10:30 AM | Comments: 0 |
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Tuesday, August 16th, 2005
..........................................
i have a hideous cold. i feel like shit. i wish people would leave me alone.
Posted By Zennie @ 10:48 AM | Comments: 0 |
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Thursday, July 28th, 2005
Nyah Nyah Nyah
havent been here in FOREVER.......slow summer. not bad, just slow. school is starting up soon but yeah...another year of homechooling, oh joy.
blah, anyways *sigh* >.
Posted By Zennie @ 11:46 AM | Comments: 0 |
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Saturday, May 28th, 2005
All I could
just a poem I actually managed to squeeze out of my brain last night...
I'm just quiet tonight
with saying all I've had to say
and having nothing left for me to be said
I'm just silent tonight
with being all I could have been
and having nothing more to be left
I'm just crying tonight
with loving all I could have loved
and having nothing more left to love
I'm just dying tonight
with living all I could have lived
and having nothing else to live for
Posted By Zennie @ 3:05 PM | Comments: 0 |
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Saturday, May 28th, 2005
My God......Way To Long
It's been way to long since I've been online. I've had way to many tests to take at school, and not just end of grade tests, other random tests that don't even count for a grade! Nonsense really, if it doesn't count for a grade I don't see why I should have to take it. But thank God it's summer now and it'll be atleast three more months before I'll have to take another awful test.
And lately, it's been really hard to focus for me on alot of things. Like lately, my parents have noticed I haven't been getting alot of sleep so they're trying to play the part of actually caring and trying to weasle out of me as to why I don't sleep that much. Simple answer is....I can't. Sleep doesn't come easy anymore. I can lay down in bed and close my eyes but I won't fall asleep.......they think I'm some kind of gothic freak as well, just because I'm pale and wear dark color shirts with jeans doesn't mean I'm goth. I can't believe that even came from my mother's mouth....but look, I'm still alive!
Posted By Zennie @ 2:55 PM | Comments: 0 |
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Tuesday, May 10th, 2005
I've Run Out Of Things To Say
Today was slow. I helped teach some Tae Kwon Do classes.....one of this kids in the junior beginners class was acting up, I had to make him do push-ups. But he was only five, it was horrible, he almost cried but hey, as soon as you walk out onto the work-out floor and say the tenets you must go by the tenets. They're kinda like guide lines while the oath is like a rule.
Courtesy, Integrity, Perserverence and Self Control are the tenets
I shall observe the tenets of Tae Kwon Do
I shall respect the instructor and senior students
I shall never misuse Tae Kwon Do
I shall be a champion of freedom and justice is the oath......
Ya kinda stupid at first, but when you're 3 years into the program you practically live by these words in everyday life. And I am dead serious.
Anyways, we have this workout and picnic thing Saturday called 'Class On The Grass' which actually is called for a little bit of rain but I'm sure after the wrokout the rain will be more than welcomed. But anyways, all it is, is 3 local TKD schools are getting together and just having this big one hour workout at the park somewhere I'm not sure of and then afterwards we have this barbeque and sometimes the juniors and instructors have a watergun fight. I went last year and it was pretty fun, but it's at a different park this year so I'll have to go and check it out and all, but it should be fun.
Posted By Zennie @ 8:33 PM | Comments: 0 |
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Friday, May 6th, 2005
So.....Tired
Ay ay ay! I jsut got out of a three hour workout, yeah, not fun. Well, it was kinda fun, but not when we had to do 6 rounds of 2 minute sparring. That's when it sucked. But I did get to practice my form, I never knew i had som much to work on, but yeah Ms. Davis helped me with that and then we did some orange belt sparring combinations since I don't know them very well and if I want to teach, I have to know the material. So we did that, and it was fun. We did some boxing drills, and some kicks while listening to some music. It was awesome, I htink I might go back next Friday for that workout or something, who knows.
Posted By Zennie @ 12:56 PM | Comments: 0 |
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Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005
Huh....
Wow, it happened again. That wierd passing out hting? Yeah, except I was in my room getting up to get some clothes from my dresser and it was just so sudden, I wasn't even half way there and I just stood frozen for a few seconds, and then POW I hit the ground like that. It was wierd......not to mention I hit my painting eisle on the way down so I have this scratch on my shoulder that I have a feeling is going to scar.
Anyways, I gotta go shower, I get to help teach today so I'm only happy about that.
Posted By Zennie @ 9:51 AM | Comments: 0 |
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Monday, May 2nd, 2005
Name
I had this idea for a band came, probably already take but oh well, I thought of it while I was messing around with my guitar earlier today......anyways the name was 'The Murderettes', my younger brother didn't like it...so we can't change our band name....curses. Anyways, yeah, we already have a cheesy name though so....it really wasn't my idea though....I swear I'm not that retarted to come up with a name like 'The Underaged Idiots'......I liked my name better.....
Posted By Zennie @ 8:13 PM | Comments: 0 |
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Saturday, April 30th, 2005
Blah......
I'm so tired, I hardly got any sleep last night. It was like, I started to drift off at 3:30 somethin' and then almost like every hour on the hour I'd wake up.....it sucked!
Anyways, I just got out of my instructor class, which is basically where my master instructor is teaching me and a few other students the white belt through our rank material so that in June we can test for our instructor ranks. The hyungs (or forms/patterns) aren't so hard to learn, I know pretty much all of then including my rank, but the one step sparring combinations I need to work on. I deffinatly will be ready by June though to test for junior certified instructor so it won't be to long before I start working at the Tae Kwon Do center as an instructor which I can't wait for. I love working with the kids and being around them, there really awesome.
It kinda feels like through teaching them how to defend themselves I'm kinda making a small difference in there lives ya know? I know it sounds idiotic but, it just feels good to know that I can help them and in return, somehow there helping me.
Posted By Zennie @ 1:43 PM | Comments: 0 |
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Monday, April 25th, 2005
Library
Well, I went to the library today. They honestly don't have much of a selection, but I did manage to chek out Wuthering Heights and The Secrets of the Jin-Shei.
I haven't started reading them yet, but I think I will sometime later on today when my list of chorse and things to do runs low. But how knows, I have so much to do it's not even funny!
Sheesh......
Posted By Zennie @ 3:03 PM | Comments: 0 |
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Wednesday, April 20th, 2005
Dead Hope
Somethings never change....you open up to someone and they swear they'll be there then when you need them they're absolutely nowhere to be found. So much for the word 'friend', I'd be alot better off if I just cut that particular word out of my vocabulary......maybe I'll get along well to if I also cut out 'love'....better yet, how about 'emotion' ,hm? That sounds good to me.
Posted By Zennie @ 7:52 PM | Comments: 0 |
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Tuesday, April 19th, 2005
VIVA IL PAPA!
I am so happy I'm litarally in tears! Viva Il Papa!
Posted By Zennie @ 12:23 PM | Comments: 2 |
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Monday, April 18th, 2005
Not Yet
Well, there's no Pope yet...I'm actually curious to see who they will elect. Honestly I'm pulling for Cardinal Ratzinger, but we all have our opinions in who we should like to be Pope.....this is just mine for I do still believe in the old Catholic ways, seeing how that is my religion. Anyways, call me foolish, call me sane, call me what you will this is just who I wish to be the next Pope...............R.I.P. Pope John Paul II
Posted By Zennie @ 8:04 PM | Comments: 0 |
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Monday, April 18th, 2005
New Hobby
I do believe that boredom has become my new hobby. Only because there isn't much I can do in my town that really catches my interest......I almost got to go to the skate demo over at Boards Paradise but noooooooo I had to go to Lowes with my parents to buy a tree and other various plants. I can't believe they made me plant things after the PROMISED me I could go to that demo for ams. They even said I could skate in it to! I had my form all filled out and the $5 to skate and everything.........and I had to go plant.
So, after that, boredom is my new favorite hobby. Thank you for reading my long awaited rant............
Posted By Zennie @ 9:38 AM | Comments: 0 |
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Wednesday, April 13th, 2005
Random Thought 2
You know it's really amazing what sort of things you can think up when you're at the library....
Did you know that we are all dying? No matter how healthy we are, or how much we keep our bodies in shape, we are still dying. As every day passes us by, all of us are slowly withering away into the ground. There's no absolute way to stop it, immortallity would still be the same as death just prolonged for many more years. It's amazing to think about this, as I sit here in my very uncomfortable computer chair and share this information with you, I myself am withering into nothing.
Posted By Zennie @ 10:47 AM | Comments: 1 |
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Tuesday, April 12th, 2005
So early and yet....I'm late
Well, the weather is starting to go crazy again. Sunshine one day and then all rain and dreary the next, it's wonderful. Atleast now I don't have to go ouside today, that is somewhat of a relief. Except for the fact that I have to go to Michael's Arts and Crafts store to pick up a botte of silver fabric paint, I kinda ran out yesterday when I was mixing colours for the shirt I was making. I was mixing silver and carribean blue, it actually turned out to be a really nice color but the silver bottle was already nearly empty so.....anyways.
My sister came over yesterday, she doesn't live with us anymore though, but it was great. Her, mom, and I stayed I the kitchen and just talked about things of all kinds. I like when she comes over and talks.
Posted By Zennie @ 8:32 AM | Comments: 0 |
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Sunday, April 10th, 2005
Eager
I so fuckin' passed my testing. Now I have to wait a month to get my new belt....it's awesome. It's going to have my name embroidered on it alont with TaeKwonDo America and my rank, I'M SO EXCITED!!!!
Posted By Zennie @ 7:43 PM | Comments: 1 |
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Friday, April 8th, 2005
Nerves.........
My nerves are getting to me, tomorrow is my testing day for my new belt. 1st Decided black belt......I can't believe I made it this far, and yet there are limitless chances of me failing. I could mess up my hyung, I could show horrible sparring, or I could possibly not break my boards the first try. I mean, I only get two tries to break them and if not the first time or the second....it's an automatic no pass.
I've never failed a testing before though so I don't know why this is getting to me. Maybe it's becasue they've changed the requirements of passing and all. I don't know. I feel like emptying the contents of my stomache all over the floor. :(
Posted By Zennie @ 2:37 PM | Comments: 0 |
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Wednesday, April 6th, 2005
I Don't Know What You Would Call This........
I've been breathing in defiantly now for the past fourteen years
I can't determine whether I am or not
I've been told that I don't belong to myself
That I'm not my own person
That God is my owner and my body is His sacred temple
But I've marred this temple
Torn it apart repeatedly, sewn it up endlessly
I'm just a slave to the Man
I'm not a human being
I have no thoughts
No emotions
No ideas
No nothing
I'm not me
I never will be
I've stopped living like I had a dream
And started dieing internally
I'm just an empty shell,
Waiting to be decomposed in the cold hard ground after I have passed
And when I pass, I'll leave in silence
I'll leave alone
Posted By Zennie @ 9:21 PM | Comments: 0 |
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Wednesday, April 6th, 2005
Euthonasia
Yes, this was the topic of my health class today. It was very interesting actually to see other peoples views on death...as for my own I will not share with you. Because I know better on not to stir up some comotion where everyone turns into some form of hatred towards me when upon hearing this sight of mine. I shall spare the angry words and just keep to myself like a good girl should.
Posted By Zennie @ 1:09 PM | Comments: 0 |
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Tuesday, April 5th, 2005
Can't Say That I Told You So.......
Ah, the sweet ignorance of children these days. You tell them not to do something and there automatic reaction is doing exactly what you told them not to. When will I ever learn?
Posted By Zennie @ 6:57 PM | Comments: 0 |
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Monday, April 4th, 2005
Random Thought
I just had this random thought pop up in my head today while I was in Health class. You know how teachers and parents are always trying to encourage us to ask for help whether it be in school at home or wherever? Well, has anyone else noticed that when we do ask for help we're always accused of being a 'tattle-tail'? And are always being punished for asking for help with a certain situation that is becoming a problem between you and your significant other.
I don't know, maybe it's just me that's realizing this but I think we need better teachers and better parents. Honestly though.......the system and government we're growing up in SUCKS ASS!
Posted By Zennie @ 8:18 PM | Comments: 1 |
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Saturday, April 2nd, 2005
Sighing Is Such Sweet Sarrow
Yes, another long day, another lost life. How many times must I tell myself that socialization isn't the way to spend the day.....but it's deffinatly a quicker way to waste it.
Posted By Zennie @ 9:25 PM | Comments: 0 |
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Wednesday, March 30th, 2005
Just A Nightmare
your just a nightmare
my favorite nightmare
the smell of your skin
still lingers
such a beautiful sin
i trace beneath my fingers
your just a nightmare
my favorite nightmare
Posted By Zennie @ 7:49 PM | Comments: 0 |
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Tuesday, March 29th, 2005
E.O.G.
I hate end of grade tests......there so long and boring. I hate math. I hate english. I hate spelling. I hate school in general.
Anyone else thinks tests suck ass?
Posted By Zennie @ 3:43 PM | Comments: 0 |
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Saturday, March 26th, 2005
There's Something Wrong.......
I'm officially freaked out now. I swear the strangest thing happened to me today...twice. I woke up this morning feeling fine, took a shower, got ready and what-not then I'm walking downstairs and I don't know it's like I black out or something and a few seconds later I wake up, still standing on the stairs and my mom is looking at me like I'm some kind of freak. A few hours later, I go out with some friends to Target and I'm in the electronics section right? And it happens again except this time I fell backwards into a stand of 50 cent cds. Then once again I wake up like, 2 minutes later and everyone was staring at me......it was really really really weird. This passing out in public and private places is really scaring me, it's the third time it's happened this year. Ya see the thing is, I can't tell when it happens, I tried linking certain actions to it but I keep getting nothing. Absolutely NOTHING!
I don't know what it is, I don't dream when I pass out it's just blank darkness. And people tell me I was talking while I was out, just random things like song lyrics is what I mostly hear of. This is seriously wierd and I feel dumb asking this but has this happened to anyone else??
Posted By Zennie @ 9:19 PM | Comments: 0 |
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Friday, March 25th, 2005
Days Go By......
Another useless day wasted away in the confort of my own home. End Of Grade tests are next week so I'm studying my ass off.....I refuse to fail. 'Failure' does not exist in my vocabulary.....and not to mention I don't want to repeat the 9th grade.
Posted By Zennie @ 7:30 PM | Comments: 0 |
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