Michael Novak Jr. aka Ratboy:
"without ratboy, the modern latin american novel simply would not exist" - Craig T. Nelson
In spite of his numerous infirmities, michael novak - born Francesco Mikel Novicalo - would triumphantly escalate to the forefront of the local drummers union by the summer of 1978, an astounding three years before he was born in the lucid countryscape of Buenos Aires, Nevada. Having spearheaded a multitude of political crusades throughout the epoch of his brief history - including the German Purity Act of 1566 known as "Reihngenbotz" - Francesco Mikel Novicalo garnered both worship and doubtship as a direct result of his indefatigable resilience, which many townsfolk thought would graduate into a staunch oligarchy. In order to parlay communal distrust into a nationwide hardcore/metal act, Francesco defected to North Tonawanda New York and, beneath a furrowed brow, reassumed his position in the local drummers union. He went on to fustigate the pomp and jubilation of amateurs on his way to worldwide recognition and become the one and only ratboy that cable network subscribers are familiar with today.
Andrew Willams:
"he'd whoop my ass" - Pope John Paul II
Glutton? Perhaps. Invisible? Certainly not. Maybe? Yes. Andrew Williams has delighted onlookers nationwide with his distinguished brand of mimicry, theatricality, puppetry and wizardry ever since resigning from the Rennaissance Fair of Chestnut Ridge in the season of 1998. Taking his refined mastery of pig- latin to the far broader audience of North Tonawanda, Andy adopted the moniker And-ay and set out with other travelling floutists, lutists and clowns to make the pilgramage across western New York. It was on this journey that he encountered Francesco Mikel Novicalo (see above) and the decision was made to form a hardcore/metal act. Andrew has a dog named Sam and devours nay sayers with a voracious predjudice.
Jordan Buckley:
"whip 'em out" - Jordan Buckley
When Jordan Buckley suffered his now famous debilitating economic setback four years ago, many thought the disparity would send him reeling into the mire of self-loathing and alcoholism. From the front of Fortune 500 where he regularly gave investment locks, to the back of the dumpster where he voluntarily gave hair cuts for a pack of Marlboro Ultra Lights, the public felt as if it would never hear the name "Jordan Buckley" or of the invention which cost him his billions - the "huggernaut", a 235 pound robot that does only 2 backflips a day - again. But lo and behold, Doth my ears betwixt me with whispers of xanadu? Is that enchanting solo bourne of Jordan? Yes. He hath returned to bring merriment to all those willing to pay $8 to see it. Rejoice.
Steven Micciche:
"Were it not for Steve I would not have, in my collection, a Vai Sikehema rookie card" - Mr. Fuji, professional wrestler
Formed in 1979 AD, Steve Micciche would amass not only body weight, but hair, permanent teeth and a vast understanding of the english language that far surpassed any other human after his time. Looking to end his streak of bad luck as an unemployed greyhound, Steve took his talents and small fiscal remunerations from the track and invested them in a broom and some twine which he purchased at a garage sale off Transit road. While wading through Seneca Creek with his newly fashioned fishing rod in a search of the ever elusive slate party, Steve realized that the same constituents of his tool could be reconstructed to make a bass guitar, one that would rival, in sound, any Peavey on the market. The sounds that were produced that evening heralded the institution of a hardcore/metal act that would take him to sloan and back, across Harlem road and as far down French as Dr. Huggs car wash.
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