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Would you understand if I told you that he is the father of
Would you understand if I told you that he is the father of so much that is good in me? If I told you that his voice, and the quality of it alone is enough to open my mind to the possibilities that could exist, if I were “true” to myself. From the time I was so young, that voice just probed the inner depths, and that smile opened up places inside my heart and allowed me to see things that I still can’t explain. I am almost forty years old and still I can’t understand what it was, what it is. Of course he is bound by the things that all of us are bound by. "Was" bound I should say. He is just a performer I say, but what caused him to give his life to all of it. Was it truly the desire to change things, was it after a while, the ego that came with it all, was it all he could do for a “Job”. Was it just who he was? I have thoughts about all of this. Did he drink too much? Do I care? I just think, and I feel, that I see so much more than all of that. Maybe I am wrong, but I will never believe that a flawed “person” a flawed “soul” could come up with such beauty and such wisdom and have the ability to touch so deeply inside of me and so many others. He is truly the greatest preacher to me, the greatest inspiration. There are choices I have made in my life, things I have done because of his influence and they have proven to be some of the most important things I have done. I am a different person because of the awareness of “humanity” that he has installed in me. When I listen to his music I actually get a visual of me being a better person. Would someone coming across me in my everyday life ever know this? Probably not, but I can say that deep down, the reason I probably smile at that little baby in someone’s shopping cart or take the time to speak with that old man on the fishing bank is because of how he made me see the world. I can’t express it enough. I feel I want someone to hear it. When my coworker saw Johns face on my screensaver at work and said “is that John Denver? He’s dead isn’t he?” I had to smile. You know, I know he is dead but there is no way I can ever explain to someone what he was to me. What that little tilt of his head and the smile while he sings is to me. I have memorized it. I have memorized the words. They have become my bible. If I said this, would I seem weird? Yeah, probably.
When there are problems, or I think of a verse to live by what do I think of “Hold on tightly and let go lightly, it’s only surrender, it’s all in the game. I know these aren’t his thoughts alone. I realize they are of a greater philosophy of which he chose to be the mouthpiece, but I just thank him for that. Music has always spoken to me in such a larger way than anything else and through his music, through his words, I have formed a view of the world that I think is healthier, I have become a woman who loves more and I have a reverence for nature that I rarely find in others.
I can’t say anymore. I need to just bathe myself in his voice. It is food for my soul, my spirit. Does that make sense? It is just something that I can’t explain. I really believe that it is essential, or was essential to my development as a person. I just laugh when people see Johns face on my computer and have a comment. And I think to myself,
‘Hey, that is me that you’re looking at” I think “He is my spiritual father”. Stupid Huh? Maybe so, but then… maybe not.
His whole life was a labor. His whole creativity was given to others. Why was there this compulsion to share? Why was there pleasure for him in sharing it? There is a purpose in all of it. I am sorry he is gone. I am so sorry he is gone. I am even sorrier that no matter if I had ever met him,there was no way that words could have made him understand what he was in my life. Just another “fan” I would have been. It was much more than that for me. Thank you for reading this. I wanted someone to know it.
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Molly |
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Replys
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Listener
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Molly - what a wonderful message there about
such a wonderful person. John is a great
person in my life too. Another great person
in my life, is a singer by the name of
'Alan Williams', he writes about
himself,/feelings/things he has gone through
etc.... also touches the heart in a similar
way that Jon does. He is featured on iSound
aswell, take a listen to his songs that are
featured. I think you will be amazed. I
certainly was.
Take care.
Anne | freespirit1 |
Molly,
Enjoyed reading your post.
I have been a full time musician for over 20
years. I became a John Denver fan late on
after buying some of his early 70s and 80s
albums and only saw Denver perform live once
.....that was just a few months before his
experimental plane accident.
His 70s/early 80s songs are my favourites as
his voice is most perfectly at ease, natural
and enthusiastic in those very skillfully
constructed songs/lyrics, his later work,
although very good in places too, is perhaps
overall a little less focused and
understandably so as other important
interests took prioirty by then.
I have a theory all John Denver fans are nice
people :-) More than my other musical heroes
or any other artiste I can think of, Denver
expressed the higher aspirations of human
nature in so many of those songs.
Bill
Bill
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