Ryann Donnelly: Vocals Jonah Bergman: Bass, Vocals
Steve Bonnell: Guitar Brian Turner: Drums Produced by Joe Reineke
“The energy was thick and intense, and it was refreshing to see a young band finally
kick emo in the crotch and scream goodbye to the ‘too sad to rock’ trend.”
– The Stranger
The Funeral Sciences is not for the weak-hearted. This isn’t another crybaby’s commentary on
the current state of his broken heart or a passive-aggressive attempt to get your attention.
Schoolyard Heroes don’t give a shit if you join their ass-kicking army because they’re going to
battle through the fields whether or not you dance among the dead with them. Of course, it’d be
a lot more fun to have you along for the furious rock and roll ride, and The Funeral Sciences is
your golden ticket to one warped factory.
They’ve shared the stage with bands like Pretty Girls Make Graves, the Accused, Vendetta
Red, and The Presidents. And some might say their sound is inspired by acts ranging from the
Misfits to Blondie, but really Schoolyard Heroes rewrite all the rules you’ve known before.
Be aware, though, once you step inside Schoolyard Heroes’ world, there ain’t no turnin’ back.
When the first haunting notes of “Curse of the Werewolf” ring through your ears, nothing will
clear your head of their hardcore blend of metal, rock and loud sound.
Didn’t expect it? You were fooled by their harmless exteriors, weren’t you? Well, every good
warrior goes to battle in uniform. Bassist Jonah Bergman, a 6’3 moppy-haired force of nature,
thrashes his bass into the heart of evil, stealing the last breath with his throat-shredding
backing vocals. Steve Bonnell will deafen the enemy with his wailing guitar while drummer
Brian Turner goes in for the final blow with the pounding rhythm that will march the dead to their
graves.
Front-woman Ryann Donnelly draws in the victims like a siren, flashing an innocent smile only
an 18-year-old girl could pull off. But as you grow closer, the smile turns to a smirk as she goes
for the throat, pinning the weak against the wall with a blood-curdling vocal range that would
make Karen O blush, all the while flaunting a style and attitude that will rewrite all the wrongs
this current “new-wave redux” has made for us.
This isn’t a gimmick, this isn’t a game. Schoolyard Heroes are
serious, dead serious, and they dare you to survive their vehemence.
Don’t be afraid, embrace the inevitable end, because as
The Funeral Sciences proves, death can be one badass dance party. |
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